Fly My Pretties
In this quest to create exposure, it surely follows that a greater number of cranes means a greater number of visitors, right?
So let's pick a number, the bigger the better, though let's keep it realistic. A million? Yeah. Go on. I could make a million cranes. Easy. That's perfectly within the realm of reason. How long would that take?
On a train to Marseilles I considered this. I tore my ticket in 4 and made a crane from each quarter, and got to work creating as many as I could in the span of a 3 minute song - the musical equivalent of a stopwatch - and with this advanced time-keeping technology at my side, I finished one and nine-tenths of a crane (the second was slightly lacking one head). That's roughly 90 seconds per crane. With some coffee napkin maths, you can extrapolate that out to 40 cranes per hour, or roughly 1000 cranes per day. At that rate, you could - in theory - make a million cranes in 3 years, though I imagine you would need to set some time aside to fulfil basic human needs like sleep, sustenance and Fresh Prince reruns.
I'm just crunching numbers here. In no way am I seriously committing three years of my life to reach such a milestone. That would be nuts. However, I like nutty ideas, and I would totally do it if I knew there were some way of speeding up the process and bypassing the throes of manual drudgery.
As it turns out there is a way. Robots.
It's simple: build an assembly line of robotic underlings to auto-fold and mass-produce the holy cloaca-juice out of millions of paper birds. Meanwhile I release them from my opulent castle balcony, all the while cackling "FLY MY PRETTIES...FLYYY!"
Yes, it's a great scheme, but so was the Third Reich, and most scholars agree that doesn't make it right.
All irreverent trivialisations aside, there is something off about this whole mass production idea. It flies in the face of the origami ethos. What happened to the dextrous meditation? The paper pacifism? Being at one with the folded animal? Why taint this outward expression of inner peace by putting paper in the mechanical hands of Skynet's potential grandparents? The crane is a symbol of good fortune and longevity, not machine-driven automation.
But the point remains I need exposure to create an audience, and it follows I need a great many cranes if I want to market myself effectively. Each must be handcrafted with the care and attention it deserves. But if machines are out of the question, what other resources can I exploit?
Oh right. People.
Many hands make light work - I simply need to find pairs of which belonging to participants both willing and able. Anyone can fold paper, that's the "able" part sorted. But willingness? Well, that's one of those rare mutable things that not everyone has. So I've come up with a strategy that bypasses this criterion, which, if implemented on a global scale, could revolutionise the way we work together as humans. After some quick research however, it seems that "forced labour" as it is generally known, is "frowned upon" due to things like "ethics" and "the law".
So I am considering other options. Could I perhaps meet halfway? Not with the slavery part, unfortunately no. I'm talking about finding a happy medium between:
a) spurring people to make origami for the pure unadulterated joy of folding paper, and...
b) entrusting a small amount of help from automation to nudge the process along.
IS SUCH A THING EVEN POSSIBLE?
(spoiler: yes, yes it is)